The Professional Dad

The Professional Dad is just a dad. He's just a guy. He's just a dude. He's just a fellow who has sometimes coasted, sometimes crawled through life, and somehow he's survived, but now realizes surviving is a minimal standard. He's the grown up who wonders how anyone ever gave him the keys to adulthood. He's glad he's not a kid, and he's happy to be a grown man, but suspects that somehow he was allowed to advance even though he didn't have passing grades.

He's the least engaging man in the room. He's not comfortable in groups greater than three people. He listens in amazement when two strangers freely converse with each other. If he doesn't know you very well, he may not be able to think of a thing to say to you. You can sit next to him on a flight to Singapore and you probably won't hear his voice, especially if he's got the aisle seat.

He hasn't mastered any trade, he doesn't have an advanced degree, he doesn't have a certification that is worth anything. The degree he does have (psychology) he doesn't use (imagine that). He speaks one language, though he's been "studying" Italian for 20 years. He likes the idea of reading, but it takes him weeks to get through a novel.

This Dad knows that when you wear black leather shoes, your belt should be black leather, but no one would call him well dressed or stylish. He likes to keep his shoes shined, but in general he should update his wardrobe as he has articles of clothing he's been wearing since he was in the Navy, and that was in the 1900s!

He can't get the grass to grow in his yard. Simple car repairs become weekend-long affairs and he's quite content turning them over to a mechanic. He doesn't make his bed. Home repairs can go for months before he addresses them. The gutters go way too long before he cleans them. The front stoop needs tuckpointed, but he'll put it off until bricks start falling out.

He's super boring. Unless it's with close friends, he doesn't know how to act at a party (and what he calls a party is eating snacks and playing a game or something). He doesn't drink, doesn't smoke. He's scared of drugs. He's not cool enough to indulge in marijuana in any of its varied forms. No tattoos, no piercings. He doesn't care what anyone else does, he's just not interested enough to engage in any of these (some would say) vices.

The Professional Dad has regrets about his "career", his education, his aversion to risk, and his lack of ambition. He never paid enough attention to his career and never stuck with anything that he truly wanted to do. Obstacles have always been good excuses for giving up and playing it safe. Who he envies the most are the ones who enjoy what they do and want to discuss it "after hours". He's never had a job he was interested in enough to talk about outside the office. As a result, he's had friends and family who didn't really even know what he did at work.

He's not always kind to the people he loves the most. He's moody and often distracted. For those outside his family he plays the part of a "nice guy", veering too far into the people-pleaser lane. He gets offended but rarely carries a grudge (he has some grudges but he can't remember who he carries them for). His intentions are good, and he's always rueful when he allows himself to snap at someone.

He can be given to bouts of depression (who's not these days?) but because he's so tough and manly he doesn't need help. Besides, he's sure if he could pull it together and find just the right job or buckle down and finish his book it would all be fine.

He doesn't blame anyone else for his failures or shortcomings. He's a grown man, and no one but himself is responsible for where he is at today. For him, there is no trauma, no abuse, no environmental factors that hold him back. It's all square on his shoulders.

He keeps trying. He refuses to believe he's old. He doesn't believe he's aging. Never mind his reading glasses (they're just for reading, after all). He's constantly experimenting with new routines, trying to adopt new habits, trying to quit the bad habits. Still reads the classics he's never gotten to (though it takes some time). If asked, he'd say The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is his favorite book.

He throws in The Godfather and The Godfather Part II every couple of years or so. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World and The Shining round out his top four movies. The Terminator, The Terminator 2: Judgment Day, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and The Princess Bride are way up on the list as well.

There's no kind of music he doesn't like, though death metal gets listened to the least. Yes, he does say the music today is just not as good as when he was growing up and before (this is objectively true, though). Oh, and contemporary country and contemporary Christian are for the most part pretty bad (everyone agrees). Jazz, smooth jazz, jazz fusion, rock of all kinds, opera, country and western, classical, baroque, punk, soul, gospel, R&B, rap, alt, bluegrass, etc., they're all fair game.

He enjoys working out, and no, he's no Greek statue, but he tries to stay in shape. One promise he has kept is the promise he made to himself that he would never have to buy pants with a waist bigger than when he got married (32"). Mostly his workouts are weight lifting sessions, but he mixes in some cardio now and again.

Wholly a product of the Midwest. He spent his formative years in SE Ohio, and went to high school in eastern Kansas, within the greater KC metro. However, he hates living in the midwest. He would leave today if given the opportunity, and if his aging parents and in-laws didn't still live there.

The Professional Dad's favorite city is la città eterna, Rome, Italy. He would move there tonight if he could. He would raw dog a flight there right now if he had the chance. Right now, before he even finishes this sentence. He's had the opportunity to visit a couple of times, but there's still much to explore. Though his 23AndMe says he's 98% northwestern European and English, he feels his heart must be Roman.

He loves his kids. He loves his wife. He loves his parents and in-laws. They all treat him well and love him more than he knows. He has fond memories of his hometown, of childhood friends, of his "glory days" on the basketball court (though the glory only ever existed in his mind). Looking back, he enjoyed his time in college, his time in the Navy, especially traveling the world and observing the antics of drunken sailors and jarheads (but never participating, of course).

He wants nothing more than for his kids to be happy, healthy, well-adjusted, and productive citizens. He wants to provide for his parents and of course his wife and kids, even though the kids have just been given the keys to adulthood as well.

He wants to have a real relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, the creator of the universe. He suspects that if he seeks this first, then everything else falls into place. His desire is to love the Lord his God with all his heart, mind, soul, and strength, and to love his neighbor as himself. He prays for wisdom, because he believes God gives that generously to all who ask, and he needs it. He knows that every good and perfect gift is from above. He prays for his daily bread, and he pleads with the Lord Jesus, Son of God, to have mercy on him, a sinner. He has faith, but he asks the Lord to please help his unbelief.

The Professional Dad wishes he could write the kind of blog that inspired you to take on even greater challenges and achieve more than you can dream. He wishes he could regale you with stories of how his processes and practices led to superior performance, hefty paychecks, and fulfilled wishes. He doesn't have any of that to offer. This is what you get.

Are you a Professional Dad?